WEEK THREE

I use this platform to create awareness of ENDOMETRIOSIS and what we go through. I also talk about the support we as woman should give each other.

I try to give advice and I try to be extremely open about my situation so others can find me relatable and realise they are not alone in this journey! As soon as I get a thought I jump on either my social media pages or here and type them out and be as honest as possible.

Which brings me to this post. It’s not advice, it’s not really anything except for a raw experience of what I am dealing with. I feel as though putting it out here for others to relate to is better than complaining to my boyfriend about it for the 10th time this week.

Sooo….. 

I AM IN WEEK THREE or FOUR (I honestly have lost track, and think it is week four yet do not want that fact to be correct so am calling it week three haha) of my goddamn period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It comes and goes. I get excited because I think its gone and then it catches me by surprise and comes back again! I have ruined about 7 pairs of undies throughout this process. Have been bloated for majority of my summer holiday and my skin has been freaking out!

I am grumpy, tired and have a constant headache. I go from having diarrhea to being extremely constipated. My cravings are severe, my body and mind are so exhausted and my lower back is getting so sore it hurts to sit down.

Normally I get these symptoms and they annoy me and drive me up the wall. So you can only image how I am feeling after dealing with this for 3-4 weeks.

I am a depressed, hormonal, pissed off human being.

It makes me so mad as I have had two operations to fix this. I have a mirena. I tick majority of the boxes yet still, I am beginning to get shoved back to square one!

You cannot help but get angry and think “Why me? Why me AGAIN?”

I am freaking out as I really don’t know if I can go down this path again.

You suffer for days months YEARS, you fight to get your diagnosis, you fix the problem only to go through it all again?

I feel like each time is wore then the last as you know what you are in for.

I am looking forward to going back to work so I don’t have time to sit around at home and freak my self out about  my endo growing back as I can feel my self turning into a negative nelly and I really don’t do well as a human when I am the negative version of myself.

I am going to try to do some exercise this afternoon and have only eaten things that are good for my body today in the hope to get rid of this “over stayed its welcome”period.

And there you have it, these are the thoughts that have been going through my head today! I’m not always positive, I have moments where I cry because of this illness. It’s ridiculous to be expected to stay smily, happy and positive 24/7. You are allowed to have your ‘life is not fair’ moments.

You just have to pick yourself up after. Dont let those moments be more than a moment.

Typing this out has made me feel a lot better than what keeping it in all day did. I’m going to go and make myself a cup of tea and reflect on good things after this down buzz rant haha.

Thanks for reading 🙂 I would LOVE to read some advice from those of you who have dealt with multiple episodes of endo re growth and how you over came it!

Love and light to you all

xxx