It’s 6.19am and I haven’t slept. I’ve been up all night working at my side job in a bar, and because of the crazy insomnia I get after a shift there, I decided to write down some of the nonsense that is running through my head! 

Tonight was a weird night with my pains, although it was definitely self inflicted. I’m sure you ladies all have things you know you cannot touch without your endo pain or other symptoms flaring up! One of mine is energy drinks. Coffee it’s self is fine however a V or Liftplus ect is like a no go for me. 

However as you can imagine, starting a shift at 11pm at night is massssssivley exhuasting. Espicially when you work a full time Mon-Fri, brain draining job and wake up early due to this! 

So me being tired ol’ me called into the gas station on my way home and picked up a bottle of V. Went home got ready for my shift and left for work with this bottle of ‘uplifting spirts juice’.

Even when I purchased the damn thing I thought to myself you are going to regret this later. Well hello of course I bloody did!

I drunk the stupid drink and of course got cramps. I of course had the urge to go toilet, like badly and had to hold this stupid poo in for 5 hours! Which of course made the cramps worse! (I’m saying of course because it wa déjà vu for like the 100th time) 

work was so busy too so I had no time to sit down and wallow in my bad pains. Although I think keeping busy helped ease the pain as I didn’t have time to concentrate on it. 

They got that bad however I had to take tramadol at the end of my shift, which is so bad as I hadn’t eaten since 7pm and I get crazy side effects from tramadol when I take it on an empty stomach. Which means I shouldn’t have had them as I had to drive home which takes roughly 20mins. On my own. In the dark. Also in the rain!!! 

I so need to learn to not have the things I know will end in misery. Why do we do this to ourselves?! Why do we look at foods/drinks and think “mmmm that’s going to make me feel like crap, ohwell I’ll consume it anyway”. 

That is for sure the lesson of my day, even though it’s been the lesson of my day multiple times hahahaha. So, note to self, LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES ANNIE!

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