Hello beautiful people
I’m laying in bed in tears right now.
Was just having a conversation with Kodi about sex, we got onto the topic of how we had sex the other day and he then proceeded to tell me that after there was blood all through his jockeys that he quickly put on to go from our bedroom to the bathroom.
I thought my period had finished, apparently not.
It’s literally so embarrassing. I’ve known Kodi for roughly 6 years now and have been with him for over 2. He knows all my secrets and is literally not only my partner but also my best friend. However I still am so embarrassed by this. (Just stopped crying lol yay)
Kodi was so super sweet and cuddled me and told me I didn’t need to cry or be upset, embarrassed or sad and that it’s ok and I’ve dealt with worse before etc which I adored and appreciate immensely. However he just doesn’t get it. Yeah a big part of the tears are from embarrassment. But also, because it’s just another thing that Endometriosis effects in my life and it just like a reminder from the endo gods like “aw you were feeling good Annie, we are here to screw that up for you and remind you who’s in charge”. It sucks not being in control of your body.
It’s times like these that I get really pissed off with my illness. Having a constant on again, off again period really makes my life frikken hell.
Honestly though, thank god I have such a good guy as my partner in crime because that incident could have been so bad. In all honesty, it’s probably not the first time it’s happened. It’s just the only one I know about. However even though Kodi is a rockstar and makes it all seem like no big deal, I still loath the fact that 9/10 I have to put a liner on after sex because I bleed. Or that my period at times can last for 6 weeks. That I throw out undies every month. That wearing light coloured pants at ANY time of the month is such a big risk.
I hate that I inconsistently bleed and there isn’t a thing I can do to control that.
Late night, journal entry, sad rant over haha.
Hope you are all well and I hope at least one soul relates to this post.
Lots of love & light