Whilst high and feeling nausea on a prescription medication concoction, I thought this would be a great time to talk about life with endometriosis! (I am going to talk about periods and other girl stuff that boys normally squirm and cover their ears about so please do not read on if you are a pussy who cannot handle the female body and all that comes with it).
Endometriosis is an invisible illness that knowingly effects 1 in 10 woman. I say knowingly as there are many woman who are un diagnosed. Majority of the ladies I speak to who suffer from endo all say that there case was overlooked for years and feel as though it should have been pick up earlier.
At least 120,000 girls and women have endometriosis in New Zealand and about 176 million women worldwide. Endometriosis can also effect fertility resulting in not being able to have babies.
Endometriosis is where the lining of the uterus (the endometrium) grows outside of the uterus where it shouldnt be. Every time we get a period our bodies shed the lining of our uterus which causes the menstrual bleeding. The parts of the uterus which are growing where they shouldnt be go through this same menstrual cycle. Except the growths on the outside of the uterus have no way of leaving the body. The only way to find out if endo is what is causing your horror is through a laproscopic surgery, also known as key hole surgery.
Symptoms of endo (but no restricted to just these) are;
- Cramping in lower abdomen (not just restricted to when menstruatting)
- painful intercourse
- abnormal periods
- painful lower back
- low libido
- bowel problems
In saying that, some woman have no symptoms at all yet still have the growths.
What I learnt though my struggles is that it doesn’t matter if you have severe endo or mild endo, the amount you have does not reflect on the pain and symptoms. You could have a dust speck of endo and be in a much worse state than a woman whose body is full of endo.
I went to the doctors from the ages 15-18 complaining about a pain that felt like a period pain when I did not have my period. at one point i was asked, “Are you sure you just don’t want a day off school?” I was livid. I was told on numerous occasions by many people that it was just a period, i was making it up and/or too toughen up.
At age 18 I had my period for 6 weeks straight. It wasnt even spotting, the whole time it was blood. I stormed into the doctor’s office and made them refer me on to a specialist. I was not leaving that room until my condition was dealt with properly.
I finally was refered to a gynaecologist and thought that my nightmare would be over. I was rushed in and out of a private gynaes room. She said that I probably had endo, she will sign me up for an op, i should get a mirena, had a play up in my vajeen which fucking hurt and made me cry and shipped out on my merry way.
I was so confused and cried in the car on the way home. We booked in the surgery and said no to the mirena.
The whole ordeal was horrible! I walked into the operation room and instantly started crying, it looked like something out of a horror movie. The scary faces with those bird flu masks on staring at me. I don’t remember anyone really talking to me either. I lay on the bed in tears while a nurse rubbed my arm and held my hand.
4 months after my first operation I was the at the flat laying on the couch when i got a horrible stabbing pain in my lower abdomen. I instantly thought to myself you have to be fucking joking and called my mum. each day got progressively worse so i made an appt with my gynae.
again I was shoved outside of her office after paying over $100.00 for a ten minute consul where she told me endo wouldn’t have grown back that quickly and implied i was making it up. This coming from a gynae was upsetting but also made me belive maybe it was in my head. Thankfully i have since found a new gynae who is a life saver.
I lost my job because of it as I called in sick way to many times. it was really sad because i loved the team i worked with and earnt good money. But because i did care so much about my team i left as it wasnt fair on them always picking up my shifts.
I have bleed through hundreds of pairs of undies. I have had sex and had blood has come streaming out afterwards. I have ruined countless pairs of sheets. I have lost jobs. I missed numerous days of school. I constantly have to bail on my friends. I can no longer eat ice cream. I am supposed to live a gluten and diary free life. I am not supposed to drink alcohol. I am supposed to excersize everyday. I should not have sugar. I should put this fucking machine up my vagina that hurts like fuck and send little electric shocks through my vag to help the pelvic floor muscles relax. I SHOULD DO THIS EVERY GODDAMED DAY. I have to take tramadol most days. I have been put on two different kinds of anti depressants to help with the signals my brain sends to my body. these made me throw up, sleep for 14 hours a night, made me dizzy and took away my appetite. I also could not concentrate properly which took away my ability to have a proper conversation. I have lost roughly 15kgs. i have scars in my belly button, on my tummy and on the top of my vagina. I can hardly ever have un painful sex. I may not be able to have children. my boyfriend has to put up with my crazy mood swings. he also has to put up with nursing me ALOT. the amount of times he has heard “don’t come in, im washing my undies” from the shower cos ive bleed through onto my favourite pair of undies again is ridiculous. I can’t have bread. some days my stomach is flat and i look hot other days i look 4 months pregnant. i cry all the time. my parents have spent thousands. i have also spent all of my savings.
Sadly this is a battle i am most likley going to have to face for the rest of my life. But i am lucky enough to have my amazing family supporting me along the way.
I could write a lot more but i am already up to 1144 words so maybe i wil save it for next time.
Thanks for reading x x x