You Asked, I Answered

You Asked, I Answered

Hello GORGEOUS humans

 

I reached out on my social media platforms and gave you the opportunity to grill me! Ask me anything you wanted! It was your chance to pick apart my brain on absolutely any topic in the world – as R Rated as you wanted! So, with that all said, heres what was asked!

 

Happy reading my friends xxx

 

What’s the best pain relief you’ve tried?

Not even trying to sound like a drug queen, Morphine. Hands down.

 

What do you think of medicinal marijuana for endo and would you use it yourself if it was readily available?

Yes. I would 100% without a doubt use medicinal marijuana if I was able too. I am completely open to the idea and after reading and watching the amazing effects it can have in medical situations, id be crazy to say no to this!

How long did it take you to be diagnosed? Were you misdiagnosed to start with? If so, what did they say it was?

I don’t know exactly but I remember going to the doctors and complaining about pain that felt like period pain even when I didn’t have my period as a young teen. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18/19 so roughly 5-6 years. My problem was always just put down too as a bad period, even was accused for just wanting time off school by a doctor. I was never really diagnosed with anything else however for months I was constantly tested for STI’s and even put on medication “just incase” even though every test came back negative.

 

Do you have adenomyosis as well as endo?

Luckily for me, no, I only have Endo.

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SEX! Do you have any tips onto how I can manage being intimate?

I truly believe that sometimes it is mind over matter. A friend of mine, including me also have issues with sex. and we have talked about how much our mind impacts our sex life. If I go into the situation freaking out that its going to be painful and hurt, high chance is that it will. Whereas if you silence your mind and relax, your body will too! Also, taking it slow, explaining to your partner your concerns, getting them too assure you they will be gentle and kind! communication is a huge help

 

What is your favourite movie, song and food?

I love the Pursuit of Happiness and I have a few more too but I am shocking with movie names so can’t remember what they are called. Song is Hotel California – Eagles, Santeria – Sublime, Hit em Up 2pac (lol I know). Favourite food is a hard one, I realllllly like sushi and pizza haha I’m not really sure what my favourite food is tbh.

 

I am also going through a breakup and am chronically ill. I have a fear of being alone. Do you have any tips for distracting yourself?

Sorry to hear you are struggling 🙁 Please though, I have to urge to learn to love your own company and space. You must love your own presence before you can truly love someone elses! Whats really helped me these last few weeks is staying super super busy. I have been working a lot which has helped. But hangout with friends and family, exercise, clean, read, watch movies, nap, create exciting recipes, write – ANYTHING that will keep your mind occupied is what you need to be doing – stop your mind from wandering x

 

Do you plan to try for children?

Absolutely 🙂

 

Why did you and Kodi breakup?

Nosy. You can read about that here.

 

Whats it like to have endometriosis in a relationship and how does it effect it?

It kind of just felt normal for me because Kods was so frikken amazing about it. But it did have its struggles. Im already an erratic person as it is and have crazy ass mood swings so add PMS ontop of that – god knows how he lasted 3 years dealing with that lol. Sex can be hard due to it not always being able to happen, which can then put strain on the relationship. honestly, it is a battle and finding a guy who is man enough to handle it can be hard, but it makes you appreciate them that much more

 

Are you friends always supportive of your endo if you have flare ups or can’t do what you would normally do with them?

This varies. mostly they understand. However if I have been doing really well for quite some time and then begin to bail on plans etc again it can at times become quiet obvious that they get frustrated. Normally It is my own fault though because I don’t explain that its due to my endometriosis why I feel like crap.

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What sort of contraception do you use?

I was on the pill (Ava 30) for like years but now I have a mirena 🙂

 

Do you have any hobbies?

Not really, I do love to read and write though 🙂

 

Do you have a tattoo?

Yes! I have ….

  • 3 birds on back, they represent me, my mum and my sister.
  • The quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” on my hip.
  • Virgo Star Sign behind my ear
  • Roman numerals on my ankle
  • A Snake on my ribs

 

What “treatment” have you been given for your endo?

Firstly, love the quotation marks around treatment cos I agree lol. I have a Mirena in place.

 

Annie have you ever tried herbs such as agnus castus to help try to balance your hormones or tried a vegan diet or castor oil packs?

NO I actually have never tried any of this! I enjoy vegan food however just cannot seem to commit to it yet!

 

How do you deal with Break ups or even breaks? What are some tips?

I hope your ok firstly, going through this stuff can reallllllllly suck.

Now I so wish that I had all the gospel info to give you too help you, but I really don’t. I suck at dealing with my emotions and am semi struggling however….

 

  • Try to remain positive. You could not have done anything more than you did to make the relationship work. Remember it takes two to tango, both people need to be invested for it to succeed.
  • Stay busy – the busier I am the better I feel as my mind is occupied and cannot wander into naughty thoughts.
  • Stay healthy, keep hydrated, rested and eat.
  • Surround yourself by people who love you. Who will remind you how frikken awesome you are.
  • DO NOT TEXT HIM! DO NOT FACEBOOK HIM! DO NOT STALK HIM AND HIS WHEREABOUTS! This isn’t attractive, I know its hard, but do not cling on. Space is great.

 

 

What spot treatment do you use? I noticed you were wearing it in your last Instagram.

I just purchased it! its the Mario Badescu Drying Lotion. And after I had brought I found out it was paragon free which is mean!

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How do you think that having endo has changed your life?

Its changed my outlook on life for sure. I’m more appreciative of the human body, of food and nature. Ive also chilled out on the drinking and partying which is a good thing haha. Also knowing I may not be able to kids has changed me a lil.

Do you have a new boyfriend?

Hahahahaha nossssssssssy man (laugh face emoji would be handy in here haha) no I do not.

 

Have you changed your diet?

Yeah drastically. I am like 90% dairy free, try to be as gluten free as poss, eat ALOT more veggies and have cut out a lot of sugar and take out from my life. I still treat myself and love to wine and cheese nights with the girls and some chocolate after dinner. But yes I have changed a lot about the way I eat.

 

You and your friend Renee make me laugh, how did you meet?

I can’t really remember how we met, it was through mutual friends for sure but I’m not sure of the like exact moment I was introduced to her. She’s amazing though, we have lots of laughs together.

 

Does the fact that you have Endometriosis make you sad ever?

Mmm to be honest, yeah. Like I would love to be able to have sex without worrying its going to hurt, I would love to eat bread for breakfast lunch and dinner. I would really like to be able to go out and drink without feeling like I’m dying from the pain the next day. I would love to have a normal period. It does really suck and there are times where I do cry and get sad because I have this disease, but being sad isn’t going to change anything. I have endo and I can’t change that, so I kinda have the suck it up and get on with it mentality when it comes to my uterus.

 

 

And thats it my loves! Im done, some questions I did not add into hear due to poor English that I couldn’t understand and some where just too personal etc. If you want me to do another post like this in the near future comment with your questions on the blog so I can refer back to them!!!!

 

Lots of love

 

A

xxx

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POST RELATIONSHIP WRITE UP

POST RELATIONSHIP WRITE UP

 

Hey ladies

 

If you follow me on Instagram and watch my stories, you would have been waiting for this. This already is so hard to write, and I haven’t even begun. Please forgive the miss-matchy, not flowing post lol. This is just really how my mind is. Here we go….

 

A few weeks ago, Kodi and I went our seperate ways (I know the date, however not wanting to risk looking like a crazy gal I’m going to keep specifics to myself). It was and has been one of the hardest things I have had been through. It came out of no where and really, really took me by surprise. Although Kods made the call, I did 100% agree with the decision.

 

Our futures sadly are no longer aligning. What I want for myself, unfortunately are things he doesn’t see for himself.  We never fought, our here and there disagreements were handled with adult conversations. We made each other laugh and pushed each other to reach our goals. I really cannot think of any issues/problems etc that we had in our relationship. However sadly in life, sometimes love is not enough.

 

We are still on great terms. There is no bad blood at all. Yeah we cried when it happened but there was no arguing, not hate and no ill wishes. I still want the world for Kodi, wether that is with or without me. He’s a great guy and is destined for greatness. I still cannot wait to see where life takes him.

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As Kodi and I are no longer together, I feel as though it is unfair on him to go into more detail then the above. He didn’t choose to share his life on the internet and I will continue to respect that. What I will say is, I don’t think this love will ever die. Friends or partners, that boy is my soul mate in some form.

 

Now, what I do want to talk about, is me. How I’ve handled myself and the situation. I received so many messages within minutes of sharing my breakup with the All About Annie community. Messages of love, wisdom and support. But also messages from girls who have just broken up with a long term partner, who are going through divorces, or who are unhappy in their current situation however do not have the courage to end it. This post is for you, its not for the people from my home town who I know will be reading this to be nosey and send screenshots/links to their girls in group chat (thats right, I see you). This post is too give confidence & support to those who are going through similar situations.

 

Unfortunately like 2 hours after we had the discussion, I had to go to work. That was SOOOO frikken hard. Like literally the worst. I have to wear makeup cos I wear in a nightclub so I piled on waterproof mascara and slathered my face in setting spray. I made it to work and then cried within 2 mins of my work bestie Sophie arriving. After that I had a few mini meltdowns where a tear or two would escape my eyes. However once we got busy it was nice to distract my mind and have to concentrate on my job. One of my bosses said I could go home but I couldn’t think of anything worse than sitting at home alone, crying and feeling sad. Although being at work was such a drag it was good to be surrounded by people.

 

I moved out into my parents house the next day. No matter how good your parents house is (mine is like amazing, so is their cooking) its still your parents house. After being independent for over 2 years, coming back here has been one of the hardest parts for me. I feel like a kid and like I’ve lost independence. My mum and Craig are amazing however its just not my home anymore, I feel like I lost that too when moving out from the house Kodi and I shared.

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Our friends are like exactly the same. we have a few that are just individually ours, however a good bulk of our friends are all intertwined, we have already bumped into each other at a Christmas Eve party and at a festival. Given there is no bad blood we were able to talk and give each other a hug which I feel lucky to have.

 

Everyone likes to offer advice, however no one gets it. No matter wether they have dealt with a similar situation before. They don’t understand as every relationship is different, as is they way you deal with emotions. Im not a huge crier, I hate talking about myself and my problems. Sitting down and talking about my issues is like hell to me. Im a very closed off private person (weird considering I do this haha)  so everyone trying to be Oprah is something I really struggle with. My closest friends and fam know that unless I bring it up, not to talk about it.

 

Ive honestly handled this situation a lot better than those around me, plus myself, ever thought I would. It has helped that we have been so busy at work since this happened, I’ve been occupied and busy so its stopped my mind from wandering. Plus it helps that we are like a big crazy family at the bar so I’ve constantly been surrounded by really good friends. I think that both of those things are so important. To keep physically and mentally busy, and to surround your self with people who have endless love for you.

 

Im not gonna lie, even though I’m doing great, Ive had moments. The other night the radio played like 10 breakup/heartbreak songs which stabbed me right in the feels. I turned it up as loud as it would go and sung my heart out between tears. It felt like a stupid scene in a movie but my god did it feel good to scream, sing and cry lol. I cried when I didn’t go down the turn off to my old road after work, I cried when I dropped my dog off for Kodi to look after. I haven’t dared to go through my phone and look at my photos. However I have changed his contact name in my phone and awell as the display/background photo.

 

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The first week I lost 5kg, had no appetite, my smoking habit just about doubled and I could not sleep. My voice was extremely mono tone and expressionless. I cut my hair. I didn’t want to be alone, but also wanted nothing more than my own space. I wanted to text him every second, I refrained. I wished I had known his passwords to snoop –  never ever would do or did do that to him, but it didn’t stop the feeling of wanting to look at his shit to see if he left me for someone else. My mind made up crazy scenarios in my head.

 

THIS IS NORMAL – IT IS OK TO FEEL CRAZY – TO GO CRAZY! YOUR LIFE HAS COMPLETLEY FLIPPED 180 – BEING NUTS IS EXPECTED!

 

This is what I keep telling myself overtime I let a lil emotion out. Because I normally keep my feelings hidden, I feel extra mental whenever I let my guard down and let the tears fall. I have to remind myself that my life has changed drastically. The person I thought I was born to be with is no longer a part of my every day life. & wether we are on good terms or not, there is still a mourning process I have to go through and a lot of choices I must make. I need to learn to be independent and responsible for myself again.

 

Haha but honestly, one of the worst things is thinking of dating??!?!?!?!? EW! I do not want to go on another first date, I do not want to explain what Endometriosis is to a clueless guy. I don’t want to have to weed through a bunch of idiots to find another Prince Charming. Ugh I honestly am dreading this stage haha.

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Girls who are going through a heartbreak, I’m not gonna tell you when your gonna feel better or how to handle your situation. Im just gonna tell you that you are beautiful, you deserve the world, your couldn’t have done anything more than you did, and one day, I’m not sure when, but one day, your skip will return your step.

 

Lots of Love as always,

 

Annie

xxx

 

 

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L . O . V . E

L . O . V . E

Hey sweeties

 

Something random and off topic, however something that as been playing on my mind lately. As I’ve said before, this website is a place for others to find relief and harmony with the Endometriosis journey, however it at times, plays as like a personal diary for me too. A place I feel comfortable to share my thoughts with you all. Its like my safe place. I don’t feel judged, I always feel lifted and I enjoy sharing my crazy opinions, beliefs and thoughts with you.

 

So anyway, love has been on my mind. Im not really sure why. Maybe I am PMS-ing like frikken crazy or maybe I’m more of a girly girl than I thought. Regardless of the case, Love is on me mind and its made me wanna talk about it.

 

The power of Love is amazing and can make you do stupid things. You defend those you love till death, even if they have done something stupid and don’t agree with them at all. You get up early in the morning, after only a few hours sleep, do make your darling partner a morning coffee before work. You help your mum weed the garden. You fight so hard that you cry. You do things you could NEVER imagine yourself doing, just to make someone else happy, alllllllll in the name of Love.

 

Now this said Love, why is this word only used to describe the way we feel about other people? Or a really frikken cute handbag? Why do we not wakeup in the morning, look in the mirror and smile whilst saying to ourselves “wow your easy to love”. WHY IS THIS NOT A THING!?

 

I posted something the other day on my Instagram account, actually – I’m gonna be corny and post it below cos I really loved it and hope you will too  –

Love blog post

Amazing right? I think its perfect. As someone who quite recently was a teenage girl and probably is often still classed as one, I know HOW HARD it is to be a teen with confidence. Gosh, even being a young adult with confidence can be hard. I understand however sympathise with woman (and males, shoutout to you too) who strive to have endless amounts of self love and confidence yet get knocked down by there peers and society for being “cocky, up themselves, full of it or a b***c”.

 

As a teen I got this endlessly. As we all are, I’m blessed in multiple areas of life, and people who saw this as a weakness use to pull me apart from it. When I was around 11 I started a new school. A group of “cool girls” kept walking past and telling me I was pretty.  Its as if my young, sweet mind could read through the BS and I felt so uncomfortable, I went home and told mum and she laughed and told me that if they are not saying it out of kindness, then they are jealous – and so they should be! She told me that if they keep saying these words to smile and tell them that I knew I was. So I did.

 

For WEEKs on end, these girls would pester me telling me the same sentence “your pretty” for me to continue with the same reply ” I know” just to hear there evil sounding sniggers. They thought it was absolutely hilarious to talk so positively and proud of myself. Now kids can be evil so I don’t hold a grudge (I’m quite good at that lol) but every girl, old or young, should be able to scream from the rooftops how much she loves herself and the pride she holds for herself!

 

But this starts from us – who is going to understand, appreciate and accept this love if we don’t speak to with truth and power? I know I wouldn’t. It goes back to the whole “to talk the talk, walk the walk” rambling we hear. Show your self how much you Love you!

love blog post xx

 

This stems into so many areas too girl, talk kindly to yourself, don’t beat yourself up for eating that donut, because my girl, they are yum and you probably deserved the treat 🙂 don’t get angry when you put on a bit of weight. Don’t hurt yourself out of sadness and pain. Learn who YOU are as a person outside of your partner, friends and family. Learn who to cook for yourself, to think on your feet. Eat something green. E X C E R S I S E ! it doesn’t have to be strenuous, just get outside and walk my love! Get out in that sunshine, I swear to god that warm on your back is a remedy all on its own!

 

All of these will assist you in having the pure happiness and Love for you.

 

Too many of us fall in to the trap of looking down and tell ourselves how unhappy we are with our looks, our lives. We think about how “Sarah” has a better wardrobe and how her mans has an eight pack. We get envious of the friend who has her sh** together and owns a house and has 5 startup companies. We want to look like the insta famous babe.

 

This jealousy, hatred and evil, vicious thinking causes so much harm internally. Start singing praise my darlings, start seeing the beauty.

 

Ill admit, I’m a lonnnnnng ass way from being at the “eternal love” status, but I try. Which is most important.

 

Im assuming that you are just done with my 1am ramblings, so even though this is something I wish to continue, I may save the rest of my tired thoughts for a P2. Also, this is something I need to change, in order for better business but also something to better the self love journey, I never re read my blogs. Only when typing, I hardly ever go back through to even make sure they make sense. I just tyyyyyyype and post lol. So bad.

 

Anywho, thanks darlings.

 

Lots of love

A

x

My Dirty Little Secret

My Dirty Little Secret

Hey ladies

The following is a topic I have wanted to discuss for a while however for multiple reasons have not known how too. There are so many factors I have had to take into consideration however keeping this behind closed doors have made me feel un authentic and almost like a liar. I have been embarrassed and afraid.

When I was in my early teens, around the age of 15/16, I started socially smoking. Every now and then with a friend or when we were out at parties. Over the next few years it grew from a few times a month to a few times a week to an every day occurrence. I tried for a really long time to hide it from my parents (dumbest move when the stench is so strong lol) I remember hiding a packet in my room and my mum finding them, I told her they were my friends and she threw them in the bin (lol).

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I have tried on multiple occasions to give up, at the end of last year I did really well and gave up for a couple months, however the sunny festive season got me. There were so many concerts, gigs and fun times with my friends, and I was too weak to say no. I told my self that after summer, I would go back to my new and improved non smoking lifestyle – fat joke that was.

Sometimes cigarettes feel like my friend. You will laugh at your phone whilst reading this if you are not addicted to nicotine. You will not understand what I mean unless you too have this secret. When I feel alone, stressed, sad, sore, depressed, angry – even happy – a cigarette always feels like it will make that emotion and feeling better.

I thought that by making this known I would loose followers or people would think I was a joke – how can someone who is trying to start a career and a community in the health sector smoke? How can I post these gym selfies and healthy recipes, yet smoke? I know, I get it. I question myself alllllllll the time. However, this nasty habit I cannot seem to break stems from an unhealthy lifestyle pre diagnosis – pre illness.

Annie SimFor those who know me, they will know they way I live life now is EXTREMELY different from how I did a few years ago. I was always at every party with a bottle of something in my hand. I loved to party, I lived for it. Drugs and alcohol and bad food every single weekend and sometimes during the week. I was such a party animal. I still enjoy to let my hair down and hit the d-floor every now and then, however since being diagnosed and taken this illness seriously I have changed a lot in my life and how I live it. I take my health seriously.

But come on, there are things we struggle to give up from our past life. I have given up SO MANY THINGS already to try to better myself. Smoking is just the last straggler and unfortunately proving to be the hardest.

 

I guess Im writing this post for numerous reasons really:

  • To no longer feel as though I have an alter-ego or like I’m hiding anything from you all. To really show every colour of myself.
  • To show that being vulnerable and letting secrets out is ok
  • & to maybe help some of you come to terms and be “ok” with the things you are struggling to let go of pre diagnosis.

 

Look reality is, we try so god damn hard to be healthy. We eat our greens, we cut gluten and dairy and sugar. We try and get enough sleep and rest, we exercise, we meditate etc. etc. etc. However sometimes we do want to revert back to some old habits, or struggle (like myself) to give them up at all. And I don’t know about you, but for me, when this happens I feel like an idiot. I feel like I’m failing and like the rest of what I’m doing is a waste of time because of this one naughty habit I just cannot kick. However let me say something to you that I want you to really taken in and listen too.

This lifestyle takes time. The shock of removing so, so many things we are use to doing and love to do is crazy. Especially when attempting to do ALL at once. Ive

felt guilty for so long about continuing to smoke, but you know what – Fk it. Im healthy in all other aspects of the way I live my life and Im damn proud of

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how far I have already come and am aware I still have little bit left on my path to go down. & thats ok!

I apologise to anyone who feels betrayed or as if I haven’t been authentic because of this. However as I said above, the fact that I smoke is embarrassing and something I have had to build up courage to share with you

 

all. Please know that if you too cannot kick an
unhealthy habit, its ok! these things take time, you will get there I promise.

Thanks for reading and again, I am sorry to anyone I have disappointed and hope you all will still love me <3

Love and light

A

xxx