It’s 11.04pm on a Sunday night. This sucks as I have to get up for work tomorrow at 6.30am and am normally crashed out by 9.30 at the latest on a work night.
I’m at the point now where you try to force yourself to sleep because you know you need it, and then you keep thinking about needing to sleep which keeps your brain working which then keeps you from falling asleep too!
My brain is just ticking and will not shutup. I don’t even know what I’m thinking about. I must be stressed out about something though for me to be up this late when all I did today was yawn. I suppose the pain isn’t helping either.
So hence all of this, insomnia has driven me to write. To tell you about the things that happened throughout my waking hours in the hope that one of you smile and say “YES! I’m normal, I’m not the only one”.
I’ve popped 2 tramadol’s in the hope they will get away with the pain that’s been lingering since I tried to have sex today. I had just finished my period the day before and all I wanted to do was have sex!
I washed my hair, shaved like every inch of my body, put on a bit of makeup did my hair and felt so beautiful and sexy! We lasted for quite a while too and then one postition just ruined it all. We ended up having to stop, I had a couple tears in my eyes which I held in with all dear might as not to make Kodi feel bad. He apologised and I told him he didn’t need to, which is true he doesn’t, he didn’t actually do anything. My body did.
After he apologised I was happy I had managed to keep the tears in, as his apology proved how guilty he felt for putting me in pain. Poor boy.
Since then I’ve had this freaking deep ache that will not leave. It worsens and then gives up a bit but has been obviously present since. Like thanks uterus. You ruined the only action we both have had in so long plus ruined my Sunday arvo and evening. Such an MVP you are urerus.
Anyway enough of the graphics, tramadol sometimes makes me feel a bit drowsy if I take it on a empty stomach, which I kind of had tonight as my last meal was around 3 hours ago and it wasn’t large. And so typical the night I was totally wanting to be knocked out, the pain killers decide not to cause side effects. It also hasn’t helped with the pain whatsoever, so I apologise to my liver who is currently being abused by 100mg of tramadol for nothing.
I was also meant to go out to dinner with Kodi and his Mum to meet her brother and his new wife for the first time. I pulled out last minute after re doing my makeup and hair and choosing an outfit. I was just so tired, and in so much pain! I just blamed it on the tiredness when I asked Kodi if I had to go because I didn’t want to explain to him I was still in pain from the sex. So instead of going out for a beautiful meal with his family and being social I sat at home in an oversized jumper and strippy tights watching Re runs on bravo whilst taking off my makeup (sigh, such a waste) and eating 2 day old left overs.
One of the annoying things about not being able to sleep when your in pain is that everyone else is sleeping and your wheatbag is cold so your going to have to heat it up yourself but you don’t have the energy or strength to get up. When I lived with my parents we ended up putting a microwave in bedroom hahaha. It was fantastic and one of the best ideas I’ve had to date.
I don’t know if you guys enjoy these random posts I do or not. There is much point to them other than to hopefully bring comfort to at least one of you. Feedback would be great so I can then judge if I should keep them up or can them.
It’s now 11.36pm and I’m even more wide awake then I was before from staring at my phone screen. And in actual fact I think the tramadol has made my pain worse. YUS winning. Not.
Also, the title of this heading sounds like a night out in vegas or something and could be very misleading hahaha.
Love and light xx