Hey beautiful people
I had a discussion with a friend recently and I came away thinking how good it would be if more people where around and present while we had this deep chat, and then I remembered I had the perfect platform to relay this information on.
The vicious cycle of not being ok mentally and getting upset that no one is checking up on you. Sound familiar? Bet it does to a lot of you. I know when I have gone through some of my lowest points I have always had this feeling of anger towards those closest to me for not knowing I’m feeling the way I am.
“They know me best, how can they not tell?”
It’s almost like we expect people to pick up on our every emotion, expect them to know how every event in our life makes us feel.
The question I next ask you, when answering I want you to be completely honest yourself. When people ask how you are, how you’re doing, how’s life, what’s been happening, how honest with them are you with your response?
Im not talking about work colleagues or the cashier who are just asking surface level questions. Im talking about your nearest and dearest, those who you would trust with anything, who are asking at a deeper level and being genuinely interested in your emotions and what’s been going on.
I recently realised how guilty I am of pretending I’m ok, of saying that I’m fine. When I was battling with my weight I would continuously have people say “are you sure you’re doing ok, you’re just looking really tiny that’s all”. I would almost get offended that people where implying I portrayed someone who wasn’t ok – which is a joke really because I actually wasn’t lol. During that period I was so angry that, in my head, no one gave a fuck about me enough to be looking after me and helping me sort out my issues. In actual fact they were, I just had such a guard up and was finding any reason to be angry and deflect any form of help that people were attempting at giving me.
We stick ourselves in this ugly ugly cycles of pretending we are ok when we arn’t and in actual fact I think we make ourselves worse. The feeling of loneliness when you’re really not is such a rough time, we have to learn to help ourselves and let people in.
Im not trying to rush or push you to asking for help, I just think the world could use a bit more of honesty around what’s happening mentally. Imagine how much more cared for you would feel if your friends knew you were in a dark place? Simply replying “yeah you know what, I’m actually not that good aye. I don’t wanna talk about it much but I’m not in a very good place right now” when asked how your doing could be such a good step in getting better.
It is so easy for me to say this, I know that. But man when I started to be honest with people my battle felt less heavy, there were other people in my team helping me fight those demons.
Stop hiding behind the “im ok” wall and open up, let people help you, break that vicious cycle.