I hope you have all been great!
One night over a few wines and nibbles, me and two of my all time favourite humans, Amber and Sydnee were talking about my blog! It was decided that the girls should do a post for me, to help other girls out their who’s friends suffer with understanding and supporting their girlfriends!
Amber and Syd are amazing, they never make me feel guilty if i have to bail on plans, they are supportive as ever and are always checking up on me when they know I am not doing well.
Below are a few questions i asked them, and their responses! This post is nothing too informative, its just yet another post looking at my life and a perspective from my AMAZING support crews insight to Endo.
These girls really are amazing and I wish that everyone had a little bit of Amber and Syd in their lives! I think after you have finished reading, you’ll wish you had their sparkle and presence around too!
Lots of love and happy reading,
How long have you known Annie for?
A: Annie & I have been friends for around 5 and a half years. We first met back in 2012, while both working in retail together! She is like a sister to me, and i am so proud of her recent accomplishments <3
S: I’ve known Annie since high school and we had a lot of mutual friends. We both worked for Wild Pair during/after we left school. We immediately gelled and realised we shared a lot in common! Over the past couple of years we’ve gotten a lot closer and she’s now one of my closest friends.
How did you first react to knowing she had a chronic illness, how did this make you feel and did you/do you have a good understanding of the illness and her?
A: I still recall Annies first surgery. It was just before I moved to Melbourne and lived there for a year and a half. At that time I had no idea what could be wrong, and thought it was just something to do with her bad periods and cramps, i remember her telling me how they were going to have to put an incision in her belly to put a camera through, and thinking how horrible that would be! During my time in Melbourne, soon after Annie was diagnosed she began to experience immense pain and troubles with her endo, and it soon became increasingly worse. As one of her closest friends i found this very challenging, given all i wanted to do was to be there for my girlfriend, and offer her my physical presence and support.I also had a very little understanding of this illness at this stage, therefore i had no idea just how much she was going through, but knew she needed me and was having troubles with other friendships at the time due to her illness.
S: When Annalise told me she had Endometriosis, honestly I had no clue what it was. I had never heard of it before. The ‘baby topic’ came up in conversation one day when Annie said she may not be able to even have children and that really struck a nerve with me. I sometimes didn’t know how to help because I didn’t understand it entirely. Tbh I’m still learning about Endo. I’ll never be able to relate to Annie about it but I know I’ll always try to understand, to listen and to simply just be there for her!
How does Annie having Endo affect your friendship?
A: Having a friend with an illness, you need to be aware of their feelings, when to be their for them, and to know when she just wants to be alone with her wheatie and snoozy (Annies fav teddy). The most important thing from my perspective is being understanding of the times she can’t go out for a big night because she doesn’t feel well, or having to postpone that coffee for another week.
S: Annie genuinely cares about maintaining friendships and the importance of putting the effort in, as do I, so her Endo hasn’t affected our friendship a whole lot.. it comes in waves so there are definitely times where plans change- we bring the wine to her place instead of going out, or daily phone calls become a weekly/fortnightly thing but that’s just how it is sometimes. Her illness will never come between us because we value our friendship too much to let it.
Have there been times where you have felt frustrated, helpless or confused?
A: Feeling helpless i am familiar with yes, as you know that no matter what you say, it isn’t going to change the fact she has to go through it, or dull her pain. It can also be hard to relate or know the right things to say. I always just try and show Annie my support, and for her to know i am always here if she needs me and back her 100%.
S: Helpless and a little confused, yes! I’ve never felt frustrated. There has been times where I’ve googled ‘Endometriosis’ but Annie has always been really clear when explaining it. You can’t help but feel sympathetic when the girl can barely stand to shower or do the dishes and simple tasks that I do everyday. That would frustrate me!
Do you have any words of advice for other besties of an endo sufferer?
A: My advice to other endo besties is to make sure she knows you care and has your support. There will be times you may not understand what she is going through, or know what to do but try to be understanding and put yourself in her shoes. Love her, respect her and treat her the same as you would if she wasn’t sick, because there will be times she will just want to forget about her illness, hangout with her girlfriends and shit talk over wine and nibbles!!
S: I think we’re all pretty quick to assume that if you don’t look sick, you can’t be THAT sick. That usually comes with lack of understanding, so one of the best things you can do is learn about her disorder. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, or in my case googling it! And never push it aside and say “oh she’ll be alright, she’s just overreacting”. Acknowledge that sometimes she is not ok and be sure to check up on her and ask how you can help.
I have so much respect for the fellow Endo girls who continue to follow and support All About Annie! It’s empowering to watch women uniting together to spread awareness of this condition that is clearly too big to ignore.